Some Hash Happenings…

The following are some supa-coo’ things from some rad hashes…

• Inaugural Hash, Sept. 1st, 2007:
  
  • One harrier dressed in a full, black jumpsuit deviates from the trail to execute a massive 360 degree spin off the top of a pile of construction rubble, impressing all.
  • A horrified resident of Alpine Ridge Apartments perceives an ‘anthrax’ scare and informs police. A neighbor is visited by local authorities to figure out what the fuck is going on. Numerous police encounters characterize the last mile of the hash, but no arrests are made.
  • Noise complaints draw local authorities to the great circle at 5:00 in the afternoon. The hares are threatened with arrest and a night in the drunk tank, hashers disperse, but…
• Post-Inaugural Hash, Sept. 1st, 2007:
  
  • 15 enthused hashers storm NAU campus, ride bike and shopping cart through the union, break dormitory elevator.
• Flagstaff Hash #2, Sept. 30th, 2007:
  • Harriers find keg at beer check, extended re-grouping time and dance party ensues.
  • Hashers stop two vehicles in a residential neighborhood. Much shouting and hilarity results.
  • Front running bastards deviate from shiggy to the side of Interstate 17 and proceed to induce honking from weary truckers and tourists.
• Halloween Hash, October 27th, 2007:
  • The stage is set for an interesting hash when several harriers drink too much at Tequila Sunrise and the NAU homecoming football game begins to attracts massive crowds.
  • One hasher stops half-way through campus to lie down on the side of the trail, and is not seen until late evening.
  • The hares stop for a chat with a student researcher working in an anthrax lab, the means by which the trail is laid provides implicit humor.
  • The ‘yellow bike’ cooperative program on campus is disrupted as some dysfunctional bicycles are thrown into large trashcans.
  • NAU football game half-time releases thousands of spectators into the stadium parking lot for tailgating. The hashers follow the trail through the crowds, and recieve excessive chastisement from drunken frat boys for their dress and demeanor. A memorable comment referring to the pack as “homo-ville” was especially humorous.
  • A shiggy onto the Rio de Flag floodplain and through a drainage tunnel leaves many of the hashers with horrible prickers and vegetation memorabilia.
• Chanukah Hash, December 8th, 2007
  • Over 30 hashers congregate at the start… in the middle of a blizzard. The resilience and determination is astonishing.
  • A false trail along University Drive leads to numerous road crossings at various points along the street. Traffic comes to a halt, and amidst a maelstrom of honking and shouting motorists, the pack initiates a snowball fight.
  • Shoppers in the Target parking lot are overwhelmed by the rush of hashers. Obscene gestures are made towards parking lot security cameras.
  • The floor of a second floor apartment shakes and trembles in a mentionable effort to avoid collapse from harrier mischief.
  • The pack crosses the mighty, freezing Rio de Flag, and one hasher decides the easiest way over the river, is in fact, directly through the river. Hypothermia is somehow avoided.
  • Both butler and Route 66 are overwhelmed as the pack swarms across the roads, throwing snowballs and ignoring the ‘stop’ signal. A policeman downtown stops his car and gets out, but knows better than to attempt to stop or arrest anyone running like hell through the beautiful weather.
• Freestyle Hash, January 12th, 2008
  • For no reason 25 or so harriers form a circle around an American Flag and begin to sing random songs.
  • A resident of the neighborhood that the hash started in comes out of a house wearing the American Flag as a cape and joins the pack for the entire hash. His friend also joins, wearing an apron with full-frontal nudity illustrated on it.
  • 45 Rogue Harriers become lost downtown, and make great use of their whistles and various noisemakers. A young child is almost trampled, but 95% of tourists and shoppers are extremely amused.
  • The pack crosses Route 66 and encounters Phoenix Hasher ‘Connie Chung’ in the crosswalk.
  • One drunken harrier throws a snowball into a nearby car when the driver’s window is down.

• The 1st Ever Flagstaff Rogue Bar Hop! Mid-January, 2008. The day we can’t quite remember…
  • The anticipation of the Bar Hash reached a climax when all SEVEN harriers assembled to run through yet another snowstorm.
  • The hashers arrive at Mia’s, and down pitchers in an empty bar.
  • The hashers arrive at Collin’s, decide Collin’s is an expensive slice of hell, serving up overpriced alcohol and nonstop ESPN. They make a lot of noise and attempt to get kicked out, but end up leaving before everyone in the bar could be distracted from Tom Brady’s 2nd Annual Nevernude Photo Shoot.
  • Vaginitis M.D. is named.
  • The harriers follow the trail through the lobby of the downtown marketplace.
  • Lots of alcohol is consumed at The Mogollon. Some stuff happened; there was some yelling, some laughing, a little crying, and everyone agreed that 7 people could have a super hash!
  • At some point the Rogue Harriers end up at Ni Marcos, at closing time. Even more beer… One hasher eats several paper plates and a napkin or two.
    
• The hashes have become so large it is difficult to keep up with all the crazy shenanigans that go down. Our last hash had a turnout of 105; who knows what happened in that pack!  Check out the website FlagstaffHashHarriers.com for pictures…